5 Key Ways To Overcome Self Doubt

October 16, 2019 | 9:00 am

Last week, I shared a dream I had that gave me an epiphany about self doubt. Shoot, I analyzed the dream so well that I thought about making it a profession!

If you want to read that first, then you can find it here. But afterwards, you’ll want to come back here to figure out how I got there in the first place.

I know, it’s like some weird storyline in a movie. Like when they give you what happened first, and THEN give you the backstory of what led up to it.

Anyways, just bare with me, it’ll be worth it.

Interestingly enough, the more I thought about why I had that dream, the more I wondered how people get to that point in life in the first place.

How do people go from living boldly to living with a lot of self doubt?

When I think back to my younger days, I remember having one of the biggest heads on the block.

I was like the old Kanye West; bold, arrogant, and not concerned with other people’s problems. The Kanye we all liked (for the most part)!

But at some point, like Kanye, my self confidence took a major hit.

But how? I really had to do some introspective work to figure this out about myself.

Life truly has one heck of a way of humbling us. And I actually found out what causes someone to move from confidence to self doubt.

I also have some tips that helped me overcome my self doubt that I think you could use as well.

But first, we have to understand the impact that self doubt has on your self esteem.

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Self Doubt vs. Self Esteem

Self doubt and self esteem actually play off of one another in a weird way.

Self doubt

…is “when you question whether or not you used good judgment” (Girl+Talk).

It’s like your own personal check and balance system.

We all have a healthy dose of self doubt that keeps us humble. It reminds us that we’re not right about everything.

But in some people, it can be pretty excessive and unhealthy.

“Unhealthy self-doubt can be compared to a greedy parasite that consumes more and more of you, feeding on your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-efficacy.”
MoodPath

Self esteem

…is your perceived value of your own self worth. It’s how well you view your own skills and abilities to make good decisions.

Someone with high self esteem would feel more confident in the face of opposition. Someone with lower self esteem would be easily swayed.

Self doubt and self esteem affect each other in a cyclical manner.

Too much self doubt, over time, will lower your self esteem… which, effectively, causes more self doubt that will… again, lower your self esteem even more, causing… well you get the idea.

So, Which Came First? The Chicken Or The Egg?

We were not born to doubt ourselves. We were born as entitled, self-centered, and daring individuals.

Sidenote, I’m sure that with over 7 billion people in the world, there are some exceptions, but for the most part, we all go through our terrible twos where everything is ‘mine’.

However, somehow along the way we were taught that we’re not always right and that the world does not revolve around us.

This is the healthy form of self doubt that keeps us grounded. Many parents do a good job of teaching this.

However, there are some parents that may unintentionally project self doubt onto their kids.

Karyl McBride Ph.D. describes how narcissistic parents sometimes create adults that are “pre-programmed to question themselves.”

Reading that shed a little light on my own situation.

Thinking back, I always had that underlying feeling of being wrong or being too sensitive in a household full of strong-minded people.

At times, I questioned whether or not it was even okay to feel how I felt. I mean, I was told that I was often too emotional and that I needed tougher skin.

I’d always ask myself…

‘Was I right to feel offended, or was I being too sensitive that time? Am I right to not trust this individual or am I being too paranoid?‘

I questioned myself so much that I lost trust in my own intuition.

Fast-forward a few years.

It became automatic to consult my parents when I had to make decisions. I didn’t realize how mentally dependent on them I had become.

Have you ever been that college student that calls mom or dad with random questions? Cooking advice, relationship advice, career advice, or even just life advice.

Eventually, my mom referred me to Google!

It’s great to ask for advice sometimes, but when you start to depend on someone else’s opinion, it becomes a problem!

That much self doubt will destroy your self esteem. Heck, I’m sure it’s what hurt mine and what may be hurting yours too.

So, if you’ve been doubting yourself lately, here are a few tips to rebuild your confidence.

Click here for an audio download that’ll boost your confidence and inspire you.

5 Ways to Stop Doubting Yourself:

1. Meditate

Stop negative self talk immediately!

When you feel that negativity creeping into your day, say a few positive affirmations.

Since you know that words have power, use that power to manifest positivity into your life.

Say things like:

I am strong.
I am worthy of success.
I am worthy of happiness.
I am beautiful.
I am choosing happiness.
I am achieving my goals.
I am enough.
I love myself.
I am kind to myself.
I am a priority.
I am unique.
I am perfect.
I am in control of my life.

If you notice, all the affirmations are in the present tense like “I am in charge of how I feel and today; I am choosing happiness.”

That’s because the present is the most powerful tense. You can’t change the past, you can only change what you do right now. And what you choose to do now controls your future.

Here’s a guided meditation download for beginners that you’ll find helpful.

Quick and Easy Meditation Tips

Sit in silence or play some peaceful meditation music.

Try and sit or lay down completely still.

Visualize yourself as already accomplished.

What habits, thoughts, and feelings does this accomplished version of you have? Try and mentally role play like you are already that successful person.

What does your day-to-day look like? How do you feel?

By connecting with that mentality, you’re shifting yourself into that frequency of accomplishment. Believe it or not, this starts to bridge the gap between the present and your future success.

Remember…

Everything is energy. Your thought starts it, your emotions amplify it, and your action increases its momentum.

2. Shut Out Social Media

Social media creates a judgmental environment.

We’re constantly shown how to think. People that go against the grain get punished. Like they literally lose their jobs due to Cancel Culture.

It’s good to regularly disconnect from content that hinders your peace of mind.

Take some time away from social media to focus on yourself.

Staying up-to-date on the latest memes is not as important as your mental health.

3. Create a Vision Board

This is actually one of the most important ways to eliminate unhealthy self doubt.

By creating this vision board and placing it somewhere you’ll see everyday, it acts as a road map, guiding you past self doubt.

When doubt arises, just consult the board.

Plus, it’s a fun, creative way to stay productive. So, embrace the board!

An easy way to start would be to get a dry erase cork board combo. Pin anything that inspires you onto the cork board. On the whiteboard side, you can write you goals.

You can find a nice sized whiteboard here to put on your wall. The point is to place it in an area that you can see every day.

4. Change Your Perspective

This sounds easier said than done, and in some cases it is. But through meditation and practicing mindfulness, this becomes easier over time.

This is a true testament to what ‘mind over matter’ means and why it’s so important. It’s not just a cliche, it’s a way of life.

5. Develop Emotional Resilience

If you don’t hold yourself in high regard, or keep a strong base of emotional resilience stored against how things might turn out, you’re likely to question your decision-making skills and if your instincts are right about things.
Girl+Talk

Emotional resilience is your ” ability to adapt to stressful situations or crises” (Elizabeth Scott, MS).

Do you fold under pressure, or do you shine bright like a diamond?

If you’re like me, then you’re often more sensitive to life’s curve-balls than others, which is okay.

We just have a little more work to do to strengthen our emotional resilience.

In Conclusion

That dream I had really opened my eyes. If you don’t want to scroll back up to the top to find that post, I got you! Just click here.

I didn’t realize that I had been living with an unhealthy amount of self doubt for such a long time. Sometimes it’s hard to connect the negative effects of self doubt to our own happiness.

There are a lot of people that struggle with self doubt to this day.

And if you’re one of them, just know that you’re not alone.

Feel free to connect with me on social media if you need advice or just an open ear.

Peace.